(no subject)

things im all about:
my sculpture class
building a giant uterus/vagina/boobies/zombie baby sculpture for said class
delicious snacks

things im not all about:
being out of vicodin/muscle relaxers
having to go see a back specialist because physical therapy didnt work
monday being the last day of my sculpture class


(no subject)

my perfect man:

speaks like bukowski
loves like palahniuk
sharp as tesla
has a great beard
nice heart
drives a piece of shit
eyes shine
curly hair
loves modest mouse
seriously silly
drinks like a fish
smokes like a chimney
loves museums
smiles constantly

bonus points if hes a super hero.

(no subject)

things ive forgotten to mention to lj:

-i cut my dreads off.
-i got my ass tattoo made over.
-i got my shin tattooed.

dial up, beware. possibly nsfw, its just my butt.
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whew. thats a lot of pictures.

(no subject)

i know.
i know that i shall never again meet anything or anybody who will inspire me with passion.
you know, its quite a job starting to love somebody. you have to have energy, generosity, blindness.
there is even a moment, in the very beginning, when you have to jump across a precipice: if you think about it you dont do it.
i know ill never jump again.

(no subject)

i wake up in the morning and my back hurts.
i go to school and my back hurts.
i come home and my back hurts.
i go to sleep and my back hurts.

all i want is someone to hang out with to try and keep my mind off the fact that i am in constant pain. instead, most days i spend my time alone in my house with nothing to do.

this weekend is my birthday.
i get to see patty cratty and hang out with my family.
my mom is taking me, getchel and jaclyn to go see RENT at the sd civic.
next week were going to SF.

my mom is doing so much for my birthday to try to make up for all that ive been through recently and im so grateful.
she keeps me going when every day gets harder and harder.

(no subject)

What's wrong with you, with us,
what's happening to us?
Ah our love is a harsh cord
that binds us wounding us
and if we want
to leave our wound,
to separate,
it makes a new knot for us and condemns us
to drain our blood and burn together.

What's wrong with you? I look at you
and I find nothing in you but two eyes
like all eyes, a mouth
lost among a thousand mouths that I have kissed, more beautiful,
a body just like those that have slipped
beneath my body without leaving any memory.

And how empty you went through the world
like a wheat-colored jar
without air, without sound, without substance!
I vainly sought in you
depth for my arms
that dig, without cease, beneath the earth:
beneath your skin, beneath your eyes,
beneath your double breast scarcely
a current of crystalline order
that does not know why it flows singing.
Why, why, why,
my love, why?

(no subject)

i have the worst luck, especially with cars.
nothing ever goes right, i swear.

lets cover all the shitty things that happened in the last month, shall we?

-my car was broken into; my 35mm SLR, Ipod, CD player and stereo hookup were stolen.
-i was in a car accident caused by another driver that completely totalled my car.
-lizzie is so old that the seals on the windows dont work anymore and cause leaks so bad that my floorboards are completely flooded.
-lizzie doesnt like to start up in cold weather and it often times takes 10+ minutes.
-aaand to top it all off, the windshield wipers dont work, so i cant drive in the rain. guess what? its fucking raining and i cant get to school.

now i have to wait for my brother to come pick me up and drive me to school where ill have to drag around all my supplies for sculpture plus a change of clothes and two yoga mats and walk to all my classes in the rain.

im not asking for a pity party, im just saying that im fucking pissed.
i hope youre all doing much better than i am.