i got a job at a gallery as a nude model.
i get paid in tattoos.

apparently im the greatest thing since the David.

things im all about:
yale
my sculpture class
building a giant uterus/vagina/boobies/zombie baby sculpture for said class
delicious snacks


things im not all about:
being out of vicodin/muscle relaxers
having to go see a back specialist because physical therapy didnt work
monday being the last day of my sculpture class



yeah.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

my perfect man:

speaks like bukowski
loves like palahniuk
sharp as tesla
has a great beard
nice heart
drives a piece of shit
eyes shine
curly hair
loves modest mouse
seriously silly
drinks like a fish
smokes like a chimney
tattoos
loves museums
smiles constantly


bonus points if hes a super hero.

things ive forgotten to mention to lj:

-i cut my dreads off.
-i got my ass tattoo made over.
-i got my shin tattooed.


dial up, beware. possibly nsfw, its just my butt.
( pics or it didnt happen. )



whew. thats a lot of pictures.

i know.
i know that i shall never again meet anything or anybody who will inspire me with passion.
you know, its quite a job starting to love somebody. you have to have energy, generosity, blindness.
there is even a moment, in the very beginning, when you have to jump across a precipice: if you think about it you dont do it.
i know ill never jump again.

i wake up in the morning and my back hurts.
i go to school and my back hurts.
i come home and my back hurts.
i go to sleep and my back hurts.

all i want is someone to hang out with to try and keep my mind off the fact that i am in constant pain. instead, most days i spend my time alone in my house with nothing to do.

this weekend is my birthday.
i get to see patty cratty and hang out with my family.
my mom is taking me, getchel and jaclyn to go see RENT at the sd civic.
next week were going to SF.

my mom is doing so much for my birthday to try to make up for all that ive been through recently and im so grateful.
she keeps me going when every day gets harder and harder.

What's wrong with you, with us,
what's happening to us?
Ah our love is a harsh cord
that binds us wounding us
and if we want
to leave our wound,
to separate,
it makes a new knot for us and condemns us
to drain our blood and burn together.

What's wrong with you? I look at you
and I find nothing in you but two eyes
like all eyes, a mouth
lost among a thousand mouths that I have kissed, more beautiful,
a body just like those that have slipped
beneath my body without leaving any memory.

And how empty you went through the world
like a wheat-colored jar
without air, without sound, without substance!
I vainly sought in you
depth for my arms
that dig, without cease, beneath the earth:
beneath your skin, beneath your eyes,
nothing,
beneath your double breast scarcely
raised
a current of crystalline order
that does not know why it flows singing.
Why, why, why,
my love, why?

i have the worst luck, especially with cars.
nothing ever goes right, i swear.

lets cover all the shitty things that happened in the last month, shall we?

-my car was broken into; my 35mm SLR, Ipod, CD player and stereo hookup were stolen.
-i was in a car accident caused by another driver that completely totalled my car.
-lizzie is so old that the seals on the windows dont work anymore and cause leaks so bad that my floorboards are completely flooded.
-lizzie doesnt like to start up in cold weather and it often times takes 10+ minutes.
-aaand to top it all off, the windshield wipers dont work, so i cant drive in the rain. guess what? its fucking raining and i cant get to school.

now i have to wait for my brother to come pick me up and drive me to school where ill have to drag around all my supplies for sculpture plus a change of clothes and two yoga mats and walk to all my classes in the rain.

im not asking for a pity party, im just saying that im fucking pissed.
i hope youre all doing much better than i am.

im not dead, i promise.
i moved to fallbrook and we didnt have the internet for a while.

anyway, i got into a car accident.
it wasnt my fault and im pretty much fine.
my back and hips arent doing too well, but at least i get a bunch of drugs and i dont have to work for a few days.

poor tyra, however, is done for.


oh yeah, speaking of work, i got a job as a piercing apprentice at Benjamin Rose in Fallbrook.

aaaaaand i got my stupid ass tattoo covered up for free.
ill post dirty sexy butt pictures once its healed.

thats all.

lucky (the very fat dog) died yesterday.
i had oral surgery to remove all four of my wisdom teeth today.

it hasnt been the greatest few days, but at least Vince is the biggest sweetheart and my hair is looking really ace.

( cut for gushy content and pictures. )
anyway, merry christmas and happy holidays to everyone!

after over a year of loneliness, assholes and bad luck..

im finally not single anymore :]

Do you begin to see, then, what kind of world we are creating? It is the exact opposite of the stupid hedonistic Utopias that the old reformers imagined. A world of fear and treachery and torment, a world of trampling and being trampled upon, a world which will grow not less but more merciless as it refines itself. Progress in our world will be progress toward more pain.

I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another until I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.

The Rules:
1. Answer each of the questions using the Flickr Search engine.
2. Choose a photo from the first three pages.
3. Then share with the world :)

alright guys, im going to see if you can guess my answers based on the picture i provide.
some will be easier than others. no peeking at the links to cheat!!

( good luuuuck! )

penny lane <3

http://title.forbiddenlibrary.com/
this site is hilarious. you can purchase any book that has ever been banned.
these are some of my favorites:

Fahrenheit 451. Ray Bradbury. Ballentine. Ironically, students at the Venado Middle School in Irvine, Calif. received copies of the book with scores of words--mostly "hells" and "damns"--blacked out. The novel is about book burning and censorship. Thankfully, after receiving complaints from parents and being contacted by reporters, school officials said the censored copies would no longer be used (1992).

Zen Buddhism: Selected Writings. D.T. Suzuki.
Challenged at the Plymouth-Canton school system in Canton, Mich. (1987) because "this book details the teachings of the religion of Buddhism in such a way that the reader could very likely embrace its teachings and choose this as his religion." The last thing we need are a bunch of peaceful Buddhists running around. The horror!

(lots of Shel.)
A Light in the Attic. Shel Silverstein.
Challenged at the Cunningham Elementary School in Beloit, Wis. (1985) because the book "enourages children to break dishes so they won't have to dry them." Removed from Minot, N.Dak. Public School libraries when the superintendent found "suggestive illustrations." Challenged at the Big Bend Elementary School library in Mukwonago, Wis. (1986) because some of Silverstein's poems "glorified Satan, suicide and cannibalism, and also encouraged children to be disobedient."

Where the Sidewalk Ends. Shel Silverstein.
Challenged at the West Allis-West Milwaukee, Wis. school libraries (1986) because the book "suggests drug use, the occult, suicide, death, violence, disrespect for truth, disrespect for legitimate authority, rebellion against parents." Challenged at the Central Columbia School District in Bloomsburg, Pa. (1993) because a poem titled "Dreadful" talks about how "someone ate the baby." On the other hand, this book does present the negative consequences of not taking the garbage out.

Slaughterhouse-Five. Kurt Vonnegut.
Burned in Drake, N. Dak. (1973). Banned in Rochester Mich. because the novel "contains and makes references to religious matters" and thus fell within the ban of the establishment clause. Challenged at the Owensboro, Ky. high School library (1985) because of "foul language, a reference to 'Magic Fingers' attached to the protagonist's bed to help him sleep, and the sentence: 'The gun made a ripping sound like the opening of the fly of God Almighty.' " Challenged, but retained on the Round Rock, Tex. Independent High School reading list (1996) after a challenge that the book was too violent. This particular novel is the recipient of a very cool plug in the movie, Footloose, starring Kevin Bacon.


p.s. Getch, if hell really is a starbucks next to a library of banned books, theyve got some damn good reading and im sooo ready to go.

Because of you, in gardens of blossoming flowers I ache from the
perfumes of spring.
I have forgotten your face, I no longer remember your hands;
how did your lips feel on mine?
Because of you, I love the white statues drowsing in the parks,
the white statues that have neither voice nor sight.
I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice; I have forgotten
your eyes.
Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to my vague memory of
you. I live with pain that is like a wound; if you touch me, you will
do me irreparable harm.
Your caresses enfold me, like climbing vines on melancholy walls.
I have forgotten your love, yet I seem to glimpse you in every
window.
Because of you, the heady perfumes of summer pain me; because
of you, I again seek out the signs that precipitate desires: shooting
stars, falling objects

cause i know you guys are all dying to see.



i put my septum back in (just for you, Getch <3).
its nice to feel whole again.

i voted for the first time today.
and today, we changed history forever.
and i was part of it.

we have just witness a life changing event.

i changed the world.